Hockey Puns: 11/21 Edition

Movember’s Starting Lineup

If you don’t know, Movember is a month long event where guys grow mustaches to raise money to help fight prostate cancer.

But for some guys, Movember is year round.  Here’s a look at a Movember Starting Lineup:

Tim Thomas, Goaltender
Timmy doesn’t rock the ‘stache through the whole year, but when he decides to grow it, it seems like his play gets even better.

Harold Snepsts, Defense
One of the most popular Canucks of all time has one of the most known hockey facial hair of all time.

Fun with Puns: 11/14 Edition

Fun with Puns

Anyone who’s been to NHL.com has read some of their punny headlines.  Here’s some of the best ones from the past week.  Vote which one is best at the bottom.

Hockey Music

Hockey and music – the two biggest pastimes for me. I became a hockey fan at age 9, right around the same time my older sisters (along with a little childhood rebellion) got me into rock and heavy metal music. In the spring of 1986, I watched Patrick Roy lead Montreal to a Stanley Cup and knew I wanted to play goalie. That same summer I heard Iron Maiden’s “Number of the Beast” and knew I wanted to play bass in a heavy metal band. Throughout my teenage years if you asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, the answer was simple: I wanted to be a professional hockey goalie, or I wanted to tour the world playing bass in a band, a dream I kept alive until my twenties came to an end. While I no longer aspire to do either professionally, I still love to play rock n’ roll music, and I still tend goal for a team in my local adult league; two things I will do as long as I’m physically capable of it.

For those of us who are fans, some songs are inexplicably linked with hockey. Whether it’s a goal song, a pre-game intro song, or the tune your favorite team has blasting on the PA system as they take the ice for the warmup; music – particularly rock n’ roll and hockey share a kinship, and lots of rockers and metal musicians also happen to be big hockey fans. I remember Rikki Rachtman, the original host of MTV’s Headbangers Ball way back in the 80′s, wearing a Detroit Red Wings jersey on the show and professing his love for the winged wheel. While Rachtman was co-hosting Loveline in LA, he was a Kings’ season ticket holder. Musicians such as Rob Zombie and two of the members of System of a Down hold season tickets at Staples Center. Five for Fighting mogul John Ondrasik grew up a Kings’ fan and still frequents Staples. While my experience is limited to LA, it’s a league-wide connection – rap star Lil’ Jon was an Atlanta Thrashers season ticket holder prior to the team’s departure, and Metallica’s James Hetfield is often seen in the stands at the HP Pavillion in San Jose, while Jon Bon Jovi has been sighted at the Prudential Center in New Jersey. Canadian legends The Tragically Hip are certified hockey nuts as well.

So what is it about rock n’ roll that compliments the sport of hockey so well?

Top 10 Goalie Masks For Halloween

Today I’m looking at what I think are the top 10 goalie masks for Halloween, it’s for fun, so just enjoy it! Happy Halloween!!!!

10. Jason Voorhees –  The “Jason” Mask

Yes, yes,  while he never did play hockey, he had to make the list for his nice piece of facial gear. If he did play hockey, you can bet he would see plenty of “slashing” calls coming his way (I’ll stop with the bad jokes now). This mask is always associated with Halloween when anyone thinks of hockey involvement in the holiday.

9. Carey Price – “Jacques Plante/Winter Classic” Mask

“Somebody’s watching me” is the feeling you get when you see this mask. The extra set of eyes is just incredibly creepy. The elongated face on a mask is enough to distract anyone, fan or player. Price recently won his 100th  regular season game with The Montreal Canadiens.

8. Jacques Plante

(Photo: NHL.Com)

Looking like something straight out of Hannibal Lecter’s personal collection, Plante’s mask drove fear into his opponents. (okay, maybe it was him, not the mask) It also drove him to a Hart trophy, 7 Vezina trophies, and 6 Stanley Cup titles with Montreal. Entered The Hockey Hall Of Fame in 1978.

Who Scores First?

There are three games tonight to open the 2011-12 NHL season, two at 7:00 (Philly @ Boston, Montreal @ Toronto) and the nightcap features Pittsburgh traveling to Vancouver for a 10:00 (Eastern) game.

Is Nathan Horton the NHL's first goal scorer of the 2011-12 season?

For a little fun, we’re going to pick who scores the first 2011-12 NHL goal.

The slight majority of us like the defending Cup champions to put the first goal on the board. Nicole picks Patrice Bergeron, while Gabbi took Brad Marchand. Bre is going with Eastern Conferference Final game 7 hero Nathan Horton.

Sticking with the same game, the Flyers picks are for former players of favorite teams. Former LA King Wayne Simmonds was Michelle’s choice, while Joey thinks Flyer new winger (and former Penguin) Jaromir Jagr will score 6:15 into the new season.

Dan and Rob figure that the Bruins banner raising ceremony will cut into game time and that the Maple Leafs-Canadiens game will have the first goal. Dan went with Canadiens newcomer Erik Cole, while Rob took Toronto’s top center Mikhail Grabovski.

Who is your pick?

Fantasy Hockey: Team Themes

Jarome Iginla, a good fantasy hockey draft pick in 2001 or 2011.

This is the time of year that we put our hockey guide studying (or lack thereof) to good use. Fantasy hockey drafts have kicked off and people are mulling over their rosters (until they fall to last place in November and give up).

Sometimes, people like to have fun with a draft, whether it be a less serious league, or a chance to make a funny team. Last year, I was in a league with a guy whose team was entirely made up of New Jersey Devils. That wasn’t his plan, but he started with Parise, Kovalchuk and Brodeur. Then it spiraled into the full Devils roster. Needless to say, it didn’t work out well, as the Devils struggled for most of the season.

Our friends at Flyers Goal Scored By started talking on twitter about a real-life Flyers lineup with Jaromir Jagr and Chris Pronger in it.  From that, I got a random idea about fantasy drafting a bunch of older guys, a team that would resemble the 2000 All Stars. I put it to use in a Yahoo mock draft, to see how such a team would look like.

My iPod Meets the NHL

A song from my Ipod for every NHL team. Think you have a better song? Leave it in the comments.

“I’ll Wait” by Van Halen
Still waiting on Selanne…still waiting…
“Life’s Been Good” by Joe Walsh
When you’re the defending champs, Life is very good.
“Money” by Pink Floyd
New owner Terry Pegula is pulling out his cash and throwing it at players like Ville Leino & Christian Ehrhoff.
“Burning Down the House” by the Talking Heads
The Flames are going nowhere with their current core, and maybe it’s time to burn it down.
“Call Me the Breeze” by Lynyrd Skynyrd
Carolina’s a decent team, but they aren’t quite Hurricane status at this point.
“No Excuses” by Alice in Chains
Shouldn’t be any reason why the Blackhawks aren’t back in the Cup contender mix.
“Mountain Song” by Jane’s Addiction
Last year, the Avs found out that it’s a tough climb up the mountain, but an easier slope down.

Crimespree Rumble (Part III)

Warning: This is part three of a three part “story”, so if you haven’t read part one & part two, do yourself a favor and read them.

To refresh your memories, the three remaining players are: Boll, Carcillo & Konopka.

RD: We’ve got three guys left in the ring, and a fourth is coming to join them, by the name of Jordan Tootoo.

Rob: He was your pick, wasn’t he RD?

RD: Yes, he was, and he drew a favorable Rumble position.

Joey: He’s mixing it up with Carcillo right now.

Rob: I still can’t believe that Carcillo is in this match.

RD: This has been a great match so far, and we still have five more entrants to come!

Joey: In fact, I think it’s time for #26.

RD: Yes, and a matter of fact, it’s Dallas Star Steve Ott.

Rob: Carcillo sees Ott and seems to have a second wind.  These two are just trading shots!

Joey: Boll and Tootoo are trying to double team Konopka, but Konopka just banged their heads together.

RD: We’re now down to the nitty gritty with #27 George “the Animal” Parros entering the ring.

Joey: What’s the first thing Parros does? Goes right to an empty turnbuckle and bites it.

Rob: He just ripped that thing off with his teeth! And is eating it!

Joey: I haven’t seen such a display since the late 80s!

RD: He just threw the turnbuckle stuffing into the face of Tootoo!

Rob: Tootoo is blinded and walked right into a Boll Slam!

Joey: Tootoo might be out, but Boll can’t get him eliminated with Konopka beating on his back.

RD: Here we go, #28 is none other than fan favorite Paul “BizNasty” Bissonnette!